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Random Thoughts..... in dedication to my Gram

Today’s BLOG was written yesterday from a Southwest Flight somewhere in the friendly skies cruising home from Phoenix. I needed a blog that collected my thoughts. SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. Some are too small for a full on blog, they are just random. BUT meaningful. So giddy up and ENJOY!

- My hubs and kiddos just wrapped a weekend with my in-laws, their second stay this month in route to the southern states (which we hope they move to.) We LOVE having them. I also enjoy having company and hosting. My kids adore their grandparents. Nothing sweeter than seeing your kids play and spend quality time with their grandparents as they do not get to see them much. It makes me miss family. It makes me wish I lived closer to all of them but life happens and we made choices that landed us in NC. No regrets. We have a GREAT life.

Lesson learned – live with your decisions. Sometimes they involve sacrifice and that is ok.

- My daughter started Middle School last week. OMG. Double OMG. In one weeks’ time my daughter has grown up exponentially. She now has an opinion about what she wears and how she looks and started talking to me like I am her peer. LOL. It has really caught me off guard.

Lesson learned – the older they get, the faster it goes. Take in every moment and most certainly do not take any moment for granted or waste them on anger or misunderstanding.

- I have a job. I like my job....... BUT my company has MANY challenges right now (I’m being polite.) Every day is a battle to stay focused on my job and the impact I can personally make. Some days are sooooo hard. AND some days are easy. I am trying to find the balance but every day I have moments of second guessing myself and I often find myself making an effort to try to shut that down when I do. This is exhausting. Today got to me…

Lesson learned: I am better than this company but I am doing what I am good at. Should I be somewhere else making BETTER money? No question. It’s all about timing and making the right choice in your current environment. Second guessing is good for me I realize. It makes me think deeper and grow. I like to think when it is time for a change I will know it and maybe it will come knocking on my door step. Dare to dream!

- Nutrition. I’m obsessed. Ask any friend of mine. I read about it, I study it. I follow it. I change my eating habits frequently. Just happens to be something I am profoundly interested in. Not just humans, dogs too! I often get questions and mocked for the things that I do and it used to bother me. But I am on a journey and I love it. Anyone who has reached the age of 40 KNOWS how hard it is stay healthy, fit and trim. There is no ONE answer for any person. It differs for everyone.

Lesson Learned: Tell people to mind their own business. You do YOU. Stop thinking you need them to understand. Side note: after several years I believe I have found the right combination of foods/nutrients that work for my body, keep my weight off and make me feel all around better. BOOM. I’d share but it MAY not work for you. LOL

- Commitments. Make commitments with friends and “show up.” I am very cautious about making commitments when we have such a busy life. It's not that I do not want to do more and see people but because I need to understand my own limits and worst of all NOT commit to something that I ultimately bail on. That leaves friends/family you committed to feeling irritated and upset. You you say you are going to show up. SHOW UP.

Lesson learned: This can destroy friendships. I firmly believe you have to be honest when responding to any request. Sometimes the answer is…. I am spread thin and I just need a day at home. It’s never personal. People appreciate honestly and there will be another time. You don’t have to make excuses. Keep it real. Go with your gut (see previous blog where my guest blogger covers this subject very well.) Most of all - if someone doesn't appreciate the honesty then you need to re-evaluate that relationship.

- Last one. Been thinking a ton lately about my Gram. We are approaching the one year anniversary since she moved on to the next life. I believe where she is, she is drinking a martini, perhaps doing a crossword puzzle and planning a trip somewhere. My Mom is still struggling with losing her and sometimes I think she is surprised by how sad she is. I don’t know if I am right but I told her to embrace the sadness. WE NEVER stop missing the ones we have lost. When I think of her and get sad I go to the memories in my head and I look at pictures.

Lesson Leaned: It is ok to miss her and be sad. How incredibly grateful am I to have had her in my life for 43 years??? Seriously… she is an example of all the things I try to be. She is a reminder to be my best self everyday for ME and for my loved ones.

With that – this post is dedicated to my Gram or as others fondly called her…. Mom, Marmie, Nana, Nene and of course Doris….. we miss you old lady!!!!

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